This Is Me Maria

If you visited my house in the last year, you would find that it has gotten a little out of control. For months I’ve been barely grasping to the threads of sanity and it shows.

I have lived with out a dishwasher for most of my life and I have been washing dishes since I was 4 years old. However with everything unraveling - for the past 6 months or so I have been threatening to switch to disposable eating-ware. I followed through with my threat recently.

I feel guilty even though our paper plates are going to be composted. I feel guilty even though our bowls, plastic-ware, and cups are being recycled. I feel guilty even though we are using less water. We are consuming,  products that require energy and oil to be manufactured and recycled.

It is kind of all I can handle right now until my kitchen is done though…

Despite my cult like addiction to all things organic, energy saving and, reusable products, our carbon footprint is still huge. If everyone lived like I do - we would need 4.81 planets. While my carbon footprint is less than the national average - it is still huge.

So I am reevaluating some of our plans, making a list of everything we already do as well as everything that we could do.

Some of the more affordable things are walking and biking to the store more since it is so close, buying in bulk more rather than the individual sized things. We just used our last ziploc bag the other day, and I purchased some good reusable tupperware that we can use instead. I am also thinking that with as much as it rains here, we could collect a lot of water with a rain barrel.

A lot of the places where we could make a big difference are expensive, like an eco friendly remodel, like new windows and more insulation, and even paper products made of recycled paper. I don’t often buy paper products made of recycled paper because they are so expensive. As a kid, my dad always bought paper products made of recycled paper. We used to joke with him that our toilet paper was like wiping your ass with tree bark.

The guilt of not doing the downstairs more eco friendly is going to haunt me for a long time. The good news is that we did use products that are long lasting and sturdy as well as neutral and not trendy, so they should not need to be replaced for a long time.

Today I have to go to a store that is 3 miles away. I was thinking that we should try taking the bus but I don’t have any cash on me. I rarely have cash on me so I would have to drive over a mile to get to my credit union’s ATM. Also public places like buses are a breeding ground for germs and my kids like to touch everything. I think we’ll have to drive but I still have guilt.